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Lori Thinks She's A Winner Is A Fanon Episode Of The Loud House.
TLH-Lori Thinks Hes A Winner Title Card




TranscriptEdit

In The Loud HouseEdit

(Trumpets On The Radio, Lori Turns Off The Radio)

Lori: Attention! It's Time For A Reach Of The Star. That's Way I Like The Star If She Wants. Lola, How Can You Dream Of?

[Lola steps forward and salutes]

Lola: I Like The Dream About The Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich For The Party Time, Sir! Ma'm... Mom.

(Imagination Begins, PB&J Sandwich Is In The Microwave With The Lights)

PB&J: WOOHOO! Rock On!!! It's Party Time YOOOW!!!

(Imagination Ends)

Lori: Wow, That's Great, Lola!

(Lori Puts Lola At The Sun)

Lori: I Guess You Have Reach The Sun! But I Did The Star About The Great Behavior.

Lola: Wait A Minute, Have You Lost This Fingers About The Exercise?

Lori: Yes, Everyone Love This One. Lana, What Are You Talking About?

[Lana steps forward and salutes]

Lana: I'm Talking About The Whistling About The Mockingbird. (Singing Whistles)

(Bird Hits At The Window)

Lori: Well, I Guess That's Something Strange.

(Lori Puts Lana At The Cloud)

Lana: (Grumpy) Hmm!

Lori: Who Are You Imagined For, Luna?

Luna: I'm Imagined For The Rockstar! This Is Going To Be The Wicked Bass I Ever Restored!

(Imagination Begins)

Luna: (Singing) LUNA! It's About To Rock!! And It's All That Time You Are On A ROOCK!!

(Cheers)

Luna: STAGE DIIIVE!!!!

(Luna Falls Off)

Luna: OOF!

Audiences: OOH!

(Imagination Ends)

Lori: Well, Maybe That Wasn't Perfect.

(Lori Puts Luna At The Cloud)

Luna: What A Bummer.

Lori: And Who Are You Talking About, Lily?

Lily: Poo-Poo! (Giggles)

Lori: WHAT?!? Eww, Gross! Alright, Lily. I Guess If He Wants Something.

(Lori Puts Lily At The Cloud)

Lily: (Raspberries)

Lori: And Lucy, Did You Have A Secret Curse?

Lucy: Yeah, I Have A Secret Curse For The Reason Why We Trust, He Is Only A Monster Who Ever Lived.

Lori: Well, That Must Been Better.

(Lori Puts Lucy At The Cloud)

Lucy: Sigh.

Lori: What Is Your Favorite Sport, Lynn?

Lynn: My Favorite Sport Is Baseball!

(Imagination Begins)

(Lynn Hit The Baseball At The Window And Brakes It)

Dad: Hey! LYNN!!!

Lynn: Sorry, Dad!

(Imagination Ends)

Lori: (Sighs) I Guess You On The Cloud, Then.

(Lori Puts Lynn At The Cloud)

Lori: And Leni, Who Are You Texting?

Leni: I'm Texting My Messages. Let's See... "LOL" "OMG" And "^v^" See All Text!

Lori: Well, I Guess It Could Be A Message To You, Leni.

(Lori Puts Leni At The Cloud)

Lori: What Part Of Science Are You Need, Lisa?

Lisa: Well, At Least I Have It For The Blood Pressure And Use For Explosions! But I Got The Recipes I Brought.

Lori: Oookay, This Is Very Uncomfortable.

(Lori Puts Lisa At The Cloud)

Lori: And Who Are You Announced For, Luan?

Luan: I'm Announced For The Funny Food I Ever Brought You. The Sausage Pen! Everything It Writes Is Delicious.

Lori: Hmmm, Even It If... Well....

(Lori Puts Luan At The Cloud)

Lori: Ultimately Useless.

(Luan Is Happiness To Sadness)

Lori: And Who Are You, Private Lincoln? How Can You Achieved?

Lincoln: Hmmm...

[Cuts to flashback where Lincoln is at Community pool and loses his trunks while trying to dive off of the diving board, hands a bouquet of flowers to Ronnie Anne, but a swarm of bees emerge and fly around her, Clyde and Tony, and Lincoln fails at hitting his triangle in music class]

Lincoln: Neh, I Guess I Achieved Up With It.

Lori: Again? Is There Something's Smarter To Good At?

Lincoln: Hmm, Well... I Guess I Gotta Make Yourself Happy.

(Lincoln Smiles At Lori)

Lori: Well, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOUNG MAN! After Tomorrow, You Are Gonna Be A Winner! But Right Now, You're On The Rainy Cloud!

(Lori Puts Lincoln At The Rainy Cloud)

Grocery Store At NightEdit

(Screen Turns Black)

Lincoln: Zzzzzz....

Lori: Hey, Lincoln! Wake Up!

Lincoln: Zzzzzz...

Lori: Wake Up, Lincoln!

Lincoln: (Yawns) What, Lori?

Lori: We Are On The Grocery Store.

Lincoln: (Gasps) WHAT?!? What Time Is It?!?

Lori: It's 4 In The Morning.

(Lori Turn On The Lights And Lincoln Is Freezing To Death)

Lincoln: Brrr!! Lori, Where Are We In... The Supermarket? Why Did Everyone Is Asleep?

Lori: It Must Be A Win. Oh, Look, Lincoln! It's A Turkey! Touch It!

(Lincoln Is Almost Touch The Turkey And Stranger Touch On Lincoln's Hand)

Lincoln: Huh? Oh, Heehee! Sorry About That, Stranger. But I Thought There Was....

Stranger: I Told Ya To Don't Touch The Turkey, You Middle Child!

Lori: GO AHEAD AND TOUCH THE TURKEY!!

Lincoln: Yeah!

Stranger: Oh Yeah? Will See About That!

(Stranger Is Letting Go On The Turkey And Stranger Bonks Lincoln's Head)

Lincoln: What The?!?

(Stranger Bonks Lincoln's Head Again)

Lincoln: OW!

(Stranger Bonks Lincoln's Head A Lot Of Times)

Lincoln: HEY! OW! OW! Okay! Okay! OW, OW, OW!!! (Crying) He's Hitting Me!

Lori: Just Do It Already, Lincoln Loud! GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT!!

Stranger: YEAH, Lincoln Loud! Give Me Your Best SHOT!!

(Stranger And Lincoln Is Letting Go On The Turkey)

Lincoln: This... Turkey... Is......

(Stranger Falls Over And Lincoln Finally Got The Turkey)

Lincoln: MINE! (Pant, Pant, Pant, Pant)

Lori: Good Job, Lincoln! You Did It!

Lincoln: Thanks, Lori.

(Stranger Picks Up A Salmon)

Stranger: HAHA!! In Your Face! No One Can Be Forced To Get Away For The Turkey! But I Have It For A Salmon!

(Lori Gets Angry At Lincoln)

Lincoln: (Sighs)

(Lincoln Walks At Stranger)

In The CarEdit

(Cut To The Previous Scene, Lincoln And Lori Are In The Car And Lincoln Got Salmon Head Shaped Mark On The Cheeks)

Lori: Always Fun To Remember, Huh?

Lincoln: Yeah Yeah Yeah, The Person Is Fine! But The Stranger IS KISSING LIKE FISH!!

Lori: I Think I'm The Winner!

Lincoln: Psst, Like What?

Lori: Like...

House At NightEdit

(Lincoln Is A Piggy Back Ride With Lori)

Lori: THE WINNER NEVER QUITS!

Lincoln: Ow!

(Lincoln Is On The Top Of The House)

Lori: Go Ahead And Be A Winner!

Lincoln: Okay, Lori... Just A Little..

(Lightning Strikes The Chinney, Destroying Half Of It)

Lincoln: Alright, That's It! I'm Not Doing This Anymore!

(Cuts To The Backyard)

Lori: How Can I Expect With Lemons?

Lincoln: Uhh... In My Face?

Lori: No! HE SQUEEZED THEM RIGHT BACK INTO LIFE'S EYES!!!

Lincoln: Really?

(Lori Strongly Gestures At Her Eyes)

Lincoln: Alright.

[Lincoln squeezes the lemon halves, squirting lemon juice into Lori's eyes; she merely laughs, and yells "YEAH" into the sky in slow-motion. Lightning flashes and the scene cuts to a sleepy-eyed Lincoln and a cheerful Lynn in the House.]

In The Loud HouseEdit

Lynn: Hello, Lincoln. You Don't Look So Good. When was The Last Time You Slept?

Lincoln: Grr, Don't Ask For Me, Lynn. I'm Talking About Lori Is Going To Be A Winner With That Rainy Weather With The STUPID FACED JERK!!!!

Lynn: Stupid?!? What Did You Say Stupid For The Whole Bunch Of Stars?!?

(Lynn Is Having A Dodgeball)

Lynn: DODGEBALL!!!

(Lynn Hits The Dodgeball On Lincoln's Face)

Lynn: BOOM! One Point!

(Lynn Hits The Dodgeball On Lincoln's Face Again)

Lynn: BOOM! Two Points!

(Lynn Hits The Dodgeball On Lincoln's Face A Lot Of Times)

Lynn: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

In The CarEdit

Lori: You See, It's Always Great To Make Me Feel Better.

Lincoln: Yeah, I Know.

Lori: Why Don't You Get Out Of The Car?

Lincoln: WHAT?!?

(Lori Kicks Lincoln Out Of The Car)

Lori: See You Around, Pal!

(Lori Drives Off And Lincoln Put His Hands On The Car)

Lincoln: LORI, WAIT! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HEEERERERERERERERE-

(Lincoln Hits The Ground On The Face)

Lincoln: OW! (Coughs) Shall Be Back. (Pauses) (Sighs)

At The Gas StationEdit

Lincoln: (Pant Evilly)

Gas Station Guy: Hello.

Lincoln: GIVE ME THAT!!!

Gas Station Guy: NO! PLEASE!

Lincoln: (Hiss)

Gas Station Guy: HERE! YOU CAN HAVE A DRINK!

(Lincoln Is Drinking A Cola)

Lincoln: Where's The Loud Family?

Gas Station Guy: It's Right There In The House.

Lincoln: Grrrr....

(Lincoln Is Throwing A Drink At Gas Station Guy)

Lincoln: RAAAH!!!

(Lincoln Walks Off)

In The Loud House At NightEdit

Leni: Ohhh...

Lincoln: Leni, What Happened?

Leni: I Just Watch A Scary Movie And That's Exactly The Moment You Have Did.

Lincoln: When?

Leni: And Lori Is A Winner And Nothing Gonna Stop That Googey Thing For A Hundred Of Miles.

Lincoln: Uhhh...

Leni: Right After The Monsters Is Attacking Sometimes And That's Okay I Am Perfectly Fine Now, Lincoln.

Lincoln: Okay?

(Lincoln Sees A Reach Of The Stars Chart)

Lincoln: Well, That Wasn't So Bad.

Lori: You Like To Win, Don't You, Lincoln?

Lincoln: AHHH!!! LORI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?

Lori: The Reason It Was Been Reason To You, Lincoln. Honest.

Lincoln: WOW! THAT GIVES AN ID- Wait A Minute! If That A Mockingbird Is Singing Like This? (Singing Whistles) And It Goes Like This!

(Bird Hits In The Window)

Lincoln: You Can't Be A Winner Now, Aren't You?

Lori: Yeah, At This Point, We Are Going To Do The Paintball Tomorrow.

Lincoln: Tomorrow? What's Tomorrow?

PaintballEdit

Lori: Okay, Everybody! Are You Ready?

Lincoln, Lily, Lisa, Lola, Lana, Lucy, Lynn, Luan, Luna, Clyde And Leni: READY!

Leni: Uhhh... Ready For What?

Lori: (Sighs) Nevermind That. Just For The Reasons Why We Trusted That Way.

Lincoln: But... But I Thought There All Sisters For Friends.

Lori: Not After The Difference. You've Gonna Earn It.

Lincoln: Okay. I'll Play. But Only If You Tear Down That Stupid Chart.

Lori: Oh I'll Tear Down That Chart... (Camera Zoom In To Her Face) If You Win... [applies black face paint on her cheeks]

Lincoln: Alright.

[Fade in to the forest deep in the park, Lincoln is walking precariously, until he hears paintball gunshots, quickly followed by Luan screaming] 

Lincoln: (Gasps) Oh No!

[Lincoln hurriedly moves, then takes cover behind a tree. He pops out, aiming down his paintball gun's sights, and sees Luan lying down, leaning on a tree; he is breathing heavily through his mask]

Lincoln: (Gasps And Runs To Luan, Who Is Covered In Splotches Of Green Paint) Luan, Are You Okay?

Luan: Please... Take Off The Mask... [Lincoln removes the mask and he gasps for air] Thank You. And I Got Some Jokes....

Lincoln: What Happened?

Luan: I Didn't Even See Her...

Lincoln: What, Luan?

Luan: What... Did The Mo- [A paintball hits him square in the chest; he gasps and exhales slowly for an extended period of time, then pretends to pass out. He opens his left eye momentarily.]

[Lori's laughter echoes around the forest, but Lincoln cannot see her. Paintballs start peppering Lincoln's area; he screams as they streak past him, and rolls away. He smashes into a tree and falls to the ground, and watches Lynn fall from the tree as well. As soon as Lynn hits the ground, he starts shooting blindly with his eyes closed]

Lynn: AAAHHH!!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!

[his eyes still closed, he continues shooting, but does not hit Lincoln, who is standing directly in front of him; his paintball gun dry fires, indicating that Lynn has no ammo left]

Lincoln: What, Lynn?

Lynn: I'm Scared, Lincoln!!

[Paintballs rain down on the Lincoln And Lynn, and they run screaming, then dive behind a fallen log; the paintballs continue to fall]

Lynn: That Chart Is Evil!

Lincoln: Maybe This Must Be...

(A red grenade lands in front of Lincoln and Lynn)

Lincoln And Lynn: PAINT BOMB!!!

[They dive away as the grenade explodes, blasting pink paint. Lola laughs, cooking grenades and flinging them at them. Lincoln and Lynn continue screaming as they narrowly dodge pink explosions and finally seek cover behind a tree. They pant as everything suddenly calms down. Lincoln checks the area; there is nothing to be seen]

Lincoln: Okay, I Guess We're Safe, Lynn.

(Lynn Does Not Respond)

Lincoln: Lynn?

[Lincoln notices Lynn looking at the ground, and sees Lynn's foot on a rope, connected to a splinter. They look up and see a large pink balloon, which would explode if Lynn steps off the rope.]

Lynn: Go On Without Me.

Lincoln: [sadly] I'm not gonna leave you here!

Lynn: It's too late for me. You're the only one who can save this family from insanity. I saw the flag, from the tree... it's just over that hill.

Lincoln: No... no!

Lynn: Just go! Just go...

Lincoln: [hesitates, then leaves sobbing]

Lynn: [looks back as Lincoln runs off, then sighs]

[A paintball gun appears behind Lynn]

Lola: Don't Move A Muscle. I'm Winning this Thing.

Lynn: So What, Lola?

Lola: [follows Lynn's gaze and sees the trap] Hmm... one of mine, huh?

Lynn: [nods] You know it's for the best...

[They look up at the balloon together, and as the camera cuts to Lincoln, who has made it into a clearing, an explosion is heard. Lincoln gasps as he looks behind him and sees pink paint flying into the sky. He sobs, and trudges forward. Back at the trap, Lola, Lynn and the surrounding area are covered in pink paint. Lynn wipes the paint off his mask]

Lynn: Wanna get a sandwich?

Lola: Yeah.

[They start walking]

Lincoln Vs. LoriEdit

[Lincoln sees the flag on a hill]

Lincoln: [gasps] Thank you Lynn.

[Lincoln rushes to the flag, but then hears a twig snap in the bushes]

Lincoln: [starts shooting at the bush] DAHH! LUAN!!

Luan: Well, I Guess They Could keep Shooting Around The Cone. (Laughs)

Lincoln: Sheesh.

[Lincoln runs to the flag and reaches it, but then he hears a gun cock behind him. A whistle is heard, Lincoln looks behind him to see Lori]

Lori: Looks like you led me right to- OH!

[A bird flies into Lori's paintball gun. It falls to the ground, and the paintballs in it spill out. Lori kneels down to get them back but Lincoln aims his gun at her]

Lincoln: Enough! I have won! The game is over!

Lori: Not until you've shot me. Then you'll finally join me... and be a winner.

Lincoln: I don't want to be a winner. I'd rather be a disappointment to you than live like this.

Lori: [confused] What? Lincoln... no no... disappointed? I could never be disappointed in you. I just saw your potential, that's all, and... I wanted you to reach it. I'm sorry if I upset you. Please, just... just take the flag my little trooper. You've earned it.

Lincoln: Thanks Lori. [turns around and moves to the flag]

[Lincoln has just placed a hand on the flag, and is about to take it when he hears a paintball dry fire behind him. He turns around and sees Lori aiming at him.]

Lincoln: [angrily] Did you just try and shoot me in the back!?

Lori: [lowers her weapon] ....No.

[Lori suddenly starts grabbing paintballs and placing them back in her gun, apparently still intent on winning, so Lincoln shoots her.]

Lincoln: There! You happy now!?

Lori: [chuckles, then starts laughing] Sorry.

Lincoln: [laughs along with her]

[Scene fades out]

EpilogueEdit

Lincoln: You Know, Lori Likes Me. I Think That Sister Loves Paintball. Besides, That Paintball Is So Very Radical Things And For Now On, It's The Only Way To Visit. Hey, Girls, Are You Ready?

Lynn: Yeah! I'm Ready!

Lily: (Laughs)

Luna: I Thinking About That Anyways.

Lori: You Know I Am A Best Thing Ever.

Luan: You Know, I Think That Was A Mockingbirds, You Know?

[A bird in the foreground whistles, and another bird smashes into the tree.]

Trivia Edit

  • This Fanfiction is Based on The TAWOG ep "The Fridge"
  • a Parody